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2011-05-31T22:51:00.001+08:00

2011-05-31T22:16:00.002+08:00

first day back to unit, duty =( what a day..

last night doing duty, i sit in a coner.. somehow i realize something.. is the last day of the month again. suddenly i wake up, i have been letting my self living in a world of nothing for such a long time, i have been running away from own true feeling for such along time. i have been bluffing to myself for a very long time. but isiz better from me to be like this forever?

tomorrow is the first of the month.. if u r seeing my blog think u should know what am i writing.. whenever i listing to this song "説好的幸福呢" i will think back to the past when we use to be together. till now i dont know y our relationship will become like this. we use to be a very lovely pair. i really dont know what break us apart. maybe all this are fate? but if u know me well enough, u should know i dont like fate to control me. i like to do thing my way. but this time i think i really lost to fate. fate make me hate u so deeply but at the same time make me miss u even more. if u will to ask me to say the true, whenever u ask me the question and i choose not to reply u is because i till love u. i choose to run away because i really dont know what should i do. i dont know who to keep u by my side forever, whenever we r close, u will always say something that make me feel insecure. u remember i did told u before, i only either choose to love a girl fully and trustfully if not i wont love anyone?

think u have found a new bf that can give u the love that i didn't give u? over here i can only hope that u will not get any hurt from anyone anymore. hope that he can give u all the love u need.

signing off with my heavy heart.

2011-05-29T23:00:00.000+08:00

it has been awhile since i last fishing.. today when fishing.. sit on the side of the water letting the sea breeze slowly brush though my eyelash.. it make me thing back alot if thing.. at the same time relax myself...

i realize i have not been myself for a very long time.. i have been running away from everything for a very long time.. maybe it's time for me to really face everything..

at last my course have finish.. tomorrow RTU.. but first day rtu do duty.. sian... haiz..

2011-05-22T22:29:00.001+08:00

Will time really heal everything? When a person is hurt deeply it will make the person scare to belive in anything .

2011-05-17T22:00:00.002+08:00

Sitting alone looking at a happy family infront of me. Make me feel empty. Thinking y I can't live in a family like other? Full of joy full of happiness and joy. Some time take a smaller step let the time go slower u will see what u r missing out. But y isiz so hard to get? Is happiness and freedom so hard to get?

2011-05-15T17:56:00.000+08:00

today is a sunday again.. later booking in.. it has been a while since i last posting.. in the last posting i just finish course.. now? in a course again.. there are too many thing happen this few weeks..
i have once again reach a point that i almost break down.. but this time round who can i talk to?
suddenly i found that everyone are the same.
i feel so single, all alone by myself.
god am i neglected?
y in my eyes i cant find someone that i can trust and believe in?
y i feel im so different from other?
im not myself anymore.
i cant feel my heart beat anymore.
i have lost myself.

2011-04-11T21:51:00.002+08:00

yesterday went expo for the MPH books fair. i know to some of u, must be very shock that i went to book fair. but reading book was once what i wanted to do but due to some reason i stop reading for a very long long time. ok now starting to get back to the kind of life i wanted to have? hope so haha =) at the book fair i couldn't find the book i want but still manage to find books and i also bought a Taiwan travel guild hope it will help me one day haha.. u all should know ;) ok but end up i found my book at times =)

today first day back to camp every thing feel so strange im no longer doing what i use to do. thanks the some of them.. -.- i think im going to have a new post there?? haha but dont think is a good news. went jogging in the evening was raining but it will never stop us from running. realize that after 3 week of resting, cannot run liao.. run 5 round tired... haiz.. need more training!!!

good night =)
eRic signing off

2011-04-10T03:37:00.002+08:00

I have so much to said inside me. I feel so lost now I dont know how to wright my future.

Just now went to meet Jie so long never see her! So miss chatting with them !! I had enjoy my night today !! Jie I know I have make a mistrck, but I will make it right again. Sorry Jie i have disappoint u.

I want my life back!

2011-04-09T18:27:00.002+08:00

Haiz.. Has been sick from my last post till now. But at last is starting to recover :)

Now at holland ave wait for my nitec friend to reach.. The meeting time is at 630 but end up I reach at 530 -.- is like WTF haiz.. Super sian!!!!

2011-03-30T23:19:00.001+08:00

Agrr my fever is freaking me up!! How I don't want to take mc I don't want RT.. Arrr

2011-03-29T23:16:00.001+08:00

Agreee that camp is so dusty till I'm sick!!!! Stupid!!!

2011-03-29T22:35:00.002+08:00

today is another tired day!! ok this few night have not sleep well cause it has been very hot..but just now while walking home, suddenly got a kind of feeling. a feeling that i have not been feeling it for so long like i have gone back to the past when i was a kids walking back home after school... the sky is so nice the weather is so nice. some how have a very peaceful feeling..

tomorrow have test again! boring!!

2011-03-28T22:35:00.002+08:00

today my second day taking bus to camp!! ok.. is kind of good.. as there is still not many people but have no sit =( but as lest dont need to focus and drive =)

ok to got overload with all the car engine information again thanks to the old trainer. but after think trough, all the information are really usefully for driving. bad thing is my brain going to bust!!

ok im growing fatter and fatter now!! have to slime down now!!

2011-03-27T02:11:00.000+08:00

Now fishing at changi!!

2011-03-25T22:38:00.002+08:00

Today is my first day taking bus to camp!! Wake up super early la!! 530! End up reach camp at 7 -.- funny right haiz.. But I think
Good is that no matter going camp or going home, both the bus is not crowed :)

Don't know isiz that day eat too much I have been shitting alot this few days stomach also not feeling too well.. Haiz..

2011-03-23T22:13:00.003+08:00

today is the first day of the course. first thing in the morning, cannot find parking lot in the camp haiz.. then was assign to a DI which keep on teaching and teaching non stop.. teaching us is ok but the way he teach will kill us!! is super slow!!

after fall out when to eat with camp mate at tempines safar. eat till super full!

ps: some how when eating the buffer, it make me think of her. even the food.

2011-03-21T20:00:00.002+08:00

today was a normal day have my assessment in the morning .. till just now just this call spoy all my mood for today.

only till today then i know woman can be so canning. she can said or do anything to destroy thing that she dont like or jealous of. never judge a person by it's cover!!

2011-03-19T11:49:00.003+08:00

hi im back.
back with a brand new start.
yup i and her has once again break up yesterday, 18 march 2011.
last night mandy jie call and she told me to start a new life to life to the fullest and today shall be the day.

everytime someone broke up with a rs, everyone will ask y ? what happen ?
i hope if anyone of u guys have saw this, just dont ask me this question. i believe u all should know y i choose this path of my life. for this time we both agree to end the rs. im too tired of doing so much thing yet i dont get any appreciation im saying this is not just her and it goes to some people around me too. im too tired!
as for her, maybe i was in the wrong, i have not accompany enough? i know i have not accompany her enough this few week due to i was too stress and busy with army thing. but i have took half day leave yesterday i know i try my best. this morning i have receive her sms saying she had a new bf do it hurt but think i did made a right choice to leave. love a person is not just being with her but is to see her happy.
so gal, i hope i will be happy with your new life and hope he treat u well =).

ok for the past i have not updating my blog cause i had been doing it in a diary cause i was on course have no time to use com but half way trough the course i was too stress and i give up writing too.. but in the end i PASS!! and have my class 3 and 4 last week i just went to 4S course and also PASS =) but during the course something happen i did not tell her cause i dont wish her to know.

next week i will be on course again and MAY i have the other course again. dont know y am i always on course. after all the course ended i will leave this place for awhile.

think no people will come visit this blog but i will start to update again. haha sound funny maybe im treating my blog as my gf, haha anything also tell her.. in fact i can't even say what i want say to my x gf cause we will always go in to quarrel.

2010-10-20T23:22:00.002+08:00

yoyo.. today is my darling birthday is 20/10/2010 also know as the 20102010 day.. haha she was so proud about that.. haha.. today i took leave just for her birthday last night we went yishun dam to countdown for her birthday bought a cake that she wanted to eat long ago and she was so happy .. haha.. seeing my love ones happy is a success to me in my life. tomorrow have to book in again in the morning... now my working is 8 to 530 haha super good.. every day can book out.! haha.. only for 2 week -.- haha but also happy..

2010-10-02T11:07:00.002+08:00

o!! POP LO!!! haha!! finally pop already after 17 week of training.. total i had lost 13kg haha.. alots of my pants cannot wear liao.. alot of old cloth which cannot wear all can wear liao.. but i now got posted to driver dont know will i grow fat again?? so i cant stop training.. must keep fit haha!!!

2010-09-13T10:45:00.002+08:00

what don't kill you will make you stronger.

i guess this will be the lowest point of my life.. i had never feel this down before want to cry but cant cause mum at home.. this will also be the first biggest change of my life. im going outfield soon after this week i book in. but at this moment, my dearest is not by my side. im feel so lost and dont know what to do. from last night, wanted to find some friend to talk but suddenly i found that i had the number of friend i can really talk to is so litter.. this moment im really lost. im going to try 1 week never call home and talk to my darling. which i never try that before. i dont know how will this 2 week change me into? darling if i really change or what hope u can accept it cause i already feel that im changing, changing into a person that i dont even feel im like this. maybe is changing to become more adult?

DARLING I MISS U!! Y U HAVEN CALL ME?

2010-08-29T13:25:00.002+08:00

Hello :) Sorry for not updating my blog for the past 2 months :) It has been a busy 2 months for me, whether is outside or inside :) This week is my 11 book out already :) My last entry was my second book out, now in a blink it's my 11 book out! :D Time really flies :) I have been busy celebrating my friends 21st birthday party and busy with my own personal stuffs :) Well, I actually have no idea on what to blog either :) So, I probably end my post here for today :) I will update again when I have the time to do so :) Take care everyone! :D

P.S: I Love You <3

2010-06-27T14:21:00.000+08:00

yoyo.. this is my 2nd book out.. haiz later must book in again.. sian!!!! haiz.. nothing mush to said la ns life are boring!! will update some other time..?

2010-06-04T00:53:00.002+08:00

yo .. today will be my last day of freedom till 2 years later.. haha.. tomorrow or is later, i will be entering ns. haha.. dont feel anything just like going chalet.. haha.. but haiz.. haha dont know la..

so nothing much .. this will be my last time blogging till 2 week later.. =)
good bye =)

2010-06-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

Today is the 2nd day befor I going in for ns.. I went to a place that is part of my childhood. Thomson plaza, a place that where I grow up. I know it sound funny.. Cause my dad use to work there so everytime after school, I will stay in the shop. Today after around 15 years? Back to the same place same shop.. Everything in the shop still look the same just that is a litter smller then the past that is because I had grow bigger haha.. But the people are not the same. This show time changes everything. I was eating my lunch there, the feeling was so nice just like the past, so pacefull everything, seem to pull back the olden times. At that moment , the clock seem to stop moving forward. I almost tears but I did not but I'm now. How I wish to go back to the past !!

2010-05-30T03:19:00.002+08:00

Yo!! My party has come to a end. First I would like to thanks everyone for taking your perious time to attend my 21th birthday party! I would also like to thanks my dad , mum and my familys for helping me making all this happen! Thanks!! And thanks for all your persent! I can said this is my first time getting so many present ! Cause I very seldon celebrate my birthday .. Haha !! Really I'm very touch for all of u to come and espically Mandy Jie and Jason gor, they did a flower that is make of vagatable , thanks ;) really thanks. Thanks everyone!!!!

But last, I would like to say sorry to does that I never invite, cause is in my house, is too small that's y cannot invite too many people. And also to all that had came, sorry if there is any inconverence.

Hope everyone enjoy!! Thanks! Cheers!!!!

2010-05-29T14:36:00.001+08:00

today is my birthday party. but i dont know y i have no mood to celebrate =(

2010-05-27T22:38:00.002+08:00

sad sad sad..!! so many people that i invited cannot come! i know my invitation is abit late la.. so cannot blame them also.. but saded leh.. haiz..

2010-05-22T15:58:00.001+08:00

yoyo.. hi to all!!

i will be opening my 21th birthday party on the 29th may 2010.
all because im going to surf my ns on the 4th of june.. one day before my birthday.. saded.. haha.. so i really hope u guys can come =)
if i had miss out anyone of u plz do let me know so i can update u the venue..
so see u all there =)
cheers!!

2010-05-15T01:14:00.001+08:00

Yoyo back blogging.. Today went to ps to have dinner with my ite nst classmate.. Cause very fast me and ting hang will be the first one to enter ns very around another 3 to 4 week and good bye to my weekdays freedom. Before that.. Cause my birthday will be one of my days in ns, so will be celebrating super earlyer. Hope u guys will be free to attend :) cheers. I will update about that again :)

now is late night and outside is going to have a huge stomp anyone who is reading this now, remenber to close the window :) good night and don't let the bed bug bite wahaha :)

Signing off
eRic

2010-05-06T23:42:00.002+08:00

yesterday was my second Graduation Ceremony in ITE.. i have been in ITE for almost 5 years .. and finally i got to leave this place and heading for my NS in 1 month time. really dont wish to leave but everyone will have to learn to let go and move on in life. after the ceremony, went out with my classmate to catch the movie IPman 2. It's a nice show haha!! after the show headed to mac to get something to eat as everyone is hungry.. have some chat with friends as we dont know when will we all meet again.. maybe will have a gathering? or maybe not? we never knows, but hope all of us will stay in contect =)

2010-04-10T08:50:00.002+08:00

Dad is late .. Now waiting for him at home.. Never sleep the hole night. Tummy keep grounding now not feeling well..

2010-04-10T04:23:00.000+08:00

Hungry !!!! Cannot sleep . Anyone can buy me food now :(

2010-04-10T03:33:00.000+08:00

Today is the also the first time I leave her all alone and let her go back by her self. I have no ideal what time she leave the place. Did she got the train? I really don't konw what to do. Event a word of savage she also can't said I really have nothing to said. Tonight i really cannot get into sleep. I really don't know all this while what is she thinking? I'm trying my best to be a best boyfriend but when I'm not happy she neven try to make me happy yet she choose to walk a way without a word. Y must I always be the one to give in? Y must I always have lies from u? Y can't u tell me the true? Just a litter thing u have to lie it to me. Lies , the thing I hate most is lies. Lies is a very tired thing u have to worried one day the lies got found out, one day no one will belivd u, even people that are close to u. Maybe once or twice is fine? But if a Person said a lies too many times, u will lose the trust people give it to u. Till that time u can't bleame anyone for not belive u. But I had took out this heart to belive but yet lies are still showing infornt of me, how u expect me not to be angry?

2010-04-10T02:19:00.001+08:00

What a wonder full day? This is my first time running almost the hole city just to find someone with a super empty tummy. But yet the person is happily enjoying her dinner, laughting with her friend . Fool? The way I talk to u is making a fool of us? I don't feel that cause I had already make a fool of myself in the hole cityhall there is nothing that is call fool to me. I'm not a toy to u I'm a guy I need my gal to
pay more attentation to my feeling and concent. U r really the first one who I had make the most fool in public. I will not be your toy again.

2010-04-08T12:09:00.001+08:00

yoyo.. wa i have not been blogging for so long.. cause there are nothing much to post.. im having holiday.. life are boring here.. hope can find a job soon haha..

finally next week im going off shore fishing again.. haha happy!! so long never fish liao.. hope it will be a good one =)

hmm i shell stop here.. will update very soon .. hahha!!

2010-03-16T23:13:00.002+08:00

Yoyo.. Have not been blogging this few day.. Past few day went to he sheng 21st chalet 4 day 3 night..
Finally all the test is over!! Now having holiday!! Yea!! Haha! But no job haiz sian no money.. Haiz..

2010-03-07T13:06:00.002+08:00

Here is some tough that came to my mind the other day, and I wrote it in my Itouch..

What is life ? Is't just a game? It's just for fun and after?

Love? What is love? Is it what the love was taken for granted and still willing to continue?

Y can't someone who love someone being love back the same? Y is this world so unfair?

Love someone is not a game. Love someone is for life. A parth that u choose. And love the person forever. When u really love that person, u will willing to die for her nometter what and don't wish her get any hurt.

Life can be like a game but not love. Life, u will have up and down and end it when it's time. Then love? Love is u will love the person even u die u still love the person. It will never end.

2010-03-01T00:05:00.003+08:00

Tonight is also should be our eight month. Eight month ago in like around 1h time, she had became my girl. My only girl. But now is no longer. Girl how I wish I can go back to eight month ago. The night that I ask u to be mine girl, a girl that I will risk my life to save yours, a girl that I'm willing to give up anything to make her mine.

2010-02-28T23:39:00.002+08:00

Tonight is a lonely night .. I'm now laying on my massage chair blogging.. Just can't get into sleep.. My heart just keeping crying I can't stop thinking about the past,all the past memory just keep coming into my mind.. I really miss the past where everything is so normal and nice.. All my loves one are around me.. My heart are really aceing now, my tears just can't stop coming out from my eyes.

People have u try getting sometime looking at all the photo 10 years ago? And start to think how life is like 10 ago?? Get sometime looking back into the history u might get some tough from there. And they might leads u your path into the future.

2010-02-28T22:37:00.004+08:00

today went to sister shop to work.. just reach home few hour ago..

today received a email from facebook about my family group.. so went to take a look..
and i notice that they had uploaded alot more photo.. so i browses thought and my tears start to drop. i use to have a very big family, but after grad-grandma pass away, this family had start to spread?? that's y they created this group just to keep us in contact.. but is the family still the same? i tears not just because of that.. is because im proud that i had such a big family. how i wish everyone can keep in contact. in the picture i also was alot of thing and alot of tough. is true that time passes and moment dont stay. i saw how is everyone look when they are young. till now, grandma, grandpa, uncles, unites, dad, mum, they now look old.. and the kids are all big now.. time really passes too fast till everyone dont realize it until u start to look back the past. the past is always so beautiful and at times, it will also make people tears.. im really speechless after looking all the picture.. i really speechless ;(

2010-02-28T01:24:00.002+08:00

How I wish my time can pass faster like how it use to be.

Just came home just now went to my pri school friend chalet cause is her 21th birthday!! Its has been years when I last was her.. Haha.. Ok tomorrow still need to work got to sleep already. Night everyone. Sweet dreams my loves one.

2010-02-26T11:12:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry.

2010-02-26T00:31:00.002+08:00

Hmm just reach home not long ago.. Today went out with my classmate.. Went alot of place.. Hey guys thanks for being so understand just now, I know I this is the first time u all see me like this.. I nearly bust into tears.. Lucky have u all by my side.. Maybe just now too rush or what.. I'm having fever now ;( shell turn in now.. Good night.

2010-02-25T08:58:00.002+08:00

wawawa.. it has been so long since i last post using school computer.. haha.. cause i dont like to login using school com.. the reason be it is because we use to install keylogger in school com.. therefor i dont trust the computer here.. haha!!

very fast going to leave the school already.. i will miss here =( maybe this will be the last time i use the school com to blog.. haha..

haiz.. im so tired.. tired of missing.. tired of love.. tired of everything.. jin, it has been 2 months, and after that day i spoke to u, i really did not go and find anything about u and him anymore.. but in my heart i will still wish to see u happy.

ps*:i may not be happy.. but what i want i very simple, i just wish to see the ones i love to be happy, no matter what.. i cannot give the ones that i love the happiness she wanted to have, so i can only hope he can treasure her and never let her down.
gal, i want to see u happy and not sad.

2010-02-25T00:08:00.000+08:00

im so tired. tired till i dont know what to do.

2010-02-23T20:11:00.001+08:00

Today 23, we break 2month already. Do u still remember me? This 2 month seem so long time passess so slowly. Shell not say much now I going out.. Shell continue later or tomorrow ba...

2010-02-23T17:25:00.002+08:00

Arr having headae ... Going for a run now hope will be better... Tired ar!!! But don't know y just feel like jogging...

2010-02-22T23:59:00.002+08:00

yoyo.. just came back from punggol park.. just now went to have a drink with wee teck beng beng and he sheng.. hmm guess this will be the second last time i will drink with friends like that.. but im not saying that i will not drink, but only in some big day and it will only be a bottle only. dont ask me y cause i wont said.

sometime once the chance is miss, it's very hard to get it back.
even is back, it will never be the same.

pain is what make us stronger.

2010-02-21T16:07:00.004+08:00

back blogging.. someone must be thinking y im still able to blog?
cause i did not leave Singapore. Due to some reason, i did not leave.
i shell not state anything here for some reason.

lazy to said it all out shell let the photo do the talking..
haha!!

2010-02-19T00:29:00.002+08:00

Hmm... Just now drive to bottle tree park to have dinner.. After that went yishun dam to slack .. Just now when driving back nearly fall asleep.. Haha.. Carpark full no choice have to park other side.. One side of my ear cannot hear again very xing ku ar!!

2010-02-16T22:33:00.000+08:00

I'm not happy!! I don't like this family!! Agrr

2010-02-16T16:44:00.001+08:00

Just came back from lunch. Went east coast to eat seafood haha went long house and the food is not as good as I thought but overall still ok la. Haha .. Now at home rot .. Sian..

2010-02-15T03:12:00.005+08:00

Just reach home just now went out with friends,went serangoon garden to eat ice cream.. It has been so long sence I last eat ice cream.. Had I gread time with friends !!

Just now I order the banana spilt, I still can remember in the past, my dad use to bring us to eat that. Just now when I was eating that, the feeling is just like how it's like 8 years ago. After 8 years, in a different place, different people, a different banana spilt, but the memory will always be the same.

2010-02-14T02:33:00.003+08:00

first of all happy new year to all.

tonight no bad room for me cause my grandma is here to stay, so my room let her sleep. tonight sleep in the study room with sleeping bag.. super long never use the sleeping bag liao..

today also valentine's day. in the past, every valentine's day, i will make myself super busy till i meet jinting, tough everything will be alright. but in the end, she leave me, leave me all alone now. maybe people will said im stupid, what for i do so much for her and so on.? today i just want to make thing clear, all i did is because i love her too much.

雪,
我以为我早已忘记你,
但因为昨天她的一些字
把我的记忆叫醒.
我听从你的,
我没有放弃爱情
但是我受伤了.

it has been so long since the last time i felt so lonely during valentine's day.
in the past i still have snowy but snowy had past-away last year. snowy is just like a baby that u left to accompany me. when she past-away, i thought jinting will be able to replace u in my heart and she really did. i fall in love with her so deeply. but she already leave me. im just like being dump in to hell once it for all.

i promise u that no matter what, i will still live and treasure myself and so till now im still standing. the only thing that is missing is u.

永远在你心里
林宏达上

2010-02-13T02:33:00.002+08:00

Just came back from yishun dam. This afternoon went to meet her to pass her something. Have some talk with her etc .. Then sent her home and went to vivo alone till 5 plus.. Tired now .. First time I vey long never feel so tired before liao.

2010-02-12T01:05:00.002+08:00

today test totally cannot do. my worst test ever.
saw che today.. she was on her way up the escalator when i was going down. she smile at me and i dont know who was that.. haha !! so end up she shouted her name, then i remember.. haha.. but when i went back to find her, she's gone.. so end up calling her..

just now went for a run with airu cause she was not feel alright in her heart. first time went for run so late but it's very nice the feeling.. think will continue running in the night. we run from her house to punggol park run the park a round and back to her house.. reached her house lucky have loop bus service if not i have to walk home..

2010-02-11T03:17:00.002+08:00

later im having test but till now i have not even touch anything RE the test. i really dont know what to do. my life is lifeless without u.

2010-02-10T02:44:00.003+08:00

this is my number 300 post.
but there is nothing i can write.
i can only said is fate that played us.
when i really needed u by my side, you are already gone.

all these precious moments
with you by my side
must be a gift from heaven
that 's holding me all night
i don 't know how i found you
i 'm thankful that i have
now that i have a love so true
to hold ,
to keep ,
to share
in my heart ,
i can no longer hold inside
all of the love i used to hide
i 'll always be
with you untill the very end
in this world ,
there is no place i 'd rather be
you are my life ,
my soul ,
my girl
and through it all
i know
that you 've come to see
thatyou 're the one
till the end
all my friend around me
say you 'd be gone too soon
baby ,
i 'm gonna make them see
we 've found our way
back home
in my heart ,
i can no longer
hold inside
all of the love
i used to hide
i 'll always be
with you untill the very end
in this world ,
there is no place
i 'd rather be
you are my life ,
my soul ,
my girl
and through
it all
i know that
you 've come to see that
you 're the one
till the end
we 'll always be
till the end

2010-02-06T23:00:00.002+08:00

somehow.. i saw some photo u all took.
hmm.. maybe im just not the one for u.
one think i dont understand is y do u make me fall in love with u ?
i was the photo u two took, i can see that is not the kind of family i always wanted to have, and i believe all along u know that.

jinting i finally understand what u want.
but y u never told me what u want all along?
i think is really time to let u go.
i think is i really hope ken can really love u more then i did.
hmm.. i think i still own u one explanation. later i will give u a call to explanation.
i know after all this whenever i see thing that make me think of u i will still tears in my heart,
but i know i just have to keep all this to myself.
sorry i can't give u what u want, when i know and willing to give u what u want is all too late.
the only think i can said now is im really sorry.
good bye my lover.

2010-02-05T22:39:00.002+08:00

hmm.. just now got my hand cut =(
i was doing something so have but plaster, while putting the plaster, it make me remind of her. the time before we are together, over at my family chalet, i cut my hand and she put the plaster for me, that was actually my first time having a gal putting on a plaster on my hand.

2010-02-05T10:49:00.002+08:00

haiz fan fan fan!
dont know y i just dont feel like doing anything, no matter how much i sleep just not enough. later still have to go back school at 2pm for meeting follow by 440pm IAP presentation. some how the presentation make me think back all the past, the time when i was in amnet, the time we are together. i can only said that, that moment is hard but at that same time that moment is sweet.
seriously u have really accompany through too many thing in my life, all the joy, happiness, sadness and downtime. but i know it's really the time to let u go. the only regrade is i will not be able to share all this moment together anymore.

the moment,
we sit together at the beach, watching sun site,
we cook together,
we eat together,
we jog from east coast to changi together,
we packet dinner to the see side and eat together,
we go pula ubin together,
we wait for each other after work,
we go buy sushi after 930pm,
we eat sushi together with wasabe,
we get a chalet just to watch sunrise,
we go fishing together,
we go take photo together,
we go flyer together,
we walk the park together,
and there are too many together to be said..
thank you for spending all my very first moment with me.
i cannot deny that all this while whenever i think of you, my tears will still drop, i know is very shameful for a guy to wright this kind of thing in the blog. but i just want u to know that i really did treasure all this moment we spent together. plz stop saying that i did not treasure u. cause it really hurt me.

im really scare later the presentation i can't control my tears.
all the while i have trying so hard not to cry in fount of anyone but i really scare that i will cry this time.

2010-02-02T23:23:00.003+08:00

I WILL NEVER FORGET THE PAIN U GIVE IT TO ME!

u ask me to move on?
u think i dont wish to move on?
im trying so hard to move on.
but my love to u has grown so deep into my heart.
i really dont understand how can u fall in love to the other guy so quickly?
u can do it but i can't.

2010-02-01T22:57:00.002+08:00

I HATE MY FAMILY!!
I HATE MY LIFE!
HOW I WISH I CAN JUST WENT TO SLEEP AND NEVER WAKE UP!

last time u came into my life, i tough my life can be better. cause i have u in my life.
i tough u and i can have a family of our own, a family that i wanted to have.
but now? u have leave me all alone, all alone to face my family.

i can only said, this time im really tired.
i have really break down.

2010-02-01T17:13:00.005+08:00

i take thing for granted? dont tell me u never take my love for granted. i dont treasure u? did u treasure me? think back on how u treat me before i ask for breakup? have u think and feel how i feel? how much pain i have when i ask u about ken?

u said i dont love u for who u r ? did u love me for who im? all i did is because i just can't bear to see my love one get hurt. im selfish, cause i just dont want to see u in any hurt or pain. i just can't bare. i rather u hate me forever and i dont want to see u get hurt.
i dont love u for who u r? u try telling all the true of your past to ken. see how he accept who u for who u r? the true of all, all the thing u done.

watch this video watch till the end!

2010-01-31T22:46:00.002+08:00

another speechless day.

if we are still together, in a few more hour time will be your 7th month.
but everything is gone.
she is gone from my life.
there is nothing i can do to bring everything back to the past.
whenever it came to the start of the month, my heart will just feel so pain.
it's so pain till i can't breath.
i really can't said the pain in me.
cause u r once the one i willing to give up everything, the one i wish to be with forever, the one that i will die for, the one that make me give up the hole universe.
i know i said all this is all shit.
cause it mean nothing to u anymore.

i believe later u two will be celebrating your first month.
it just make me remember how we celebrate ours.
my heart is so paint now!!
it's just like thousand kg of stone on my chest, it's so heavy till i can't breath.

there is still a lot of thing i want to said but i just can't say it out im really speechless.
i can't breath.

i can only said " NG JIN TING I REALLY WISH EVERYTHING CAN JUST GO BACK TO HOW IT'S USE TO BE " , " IF THERE IS A SECOND CHANCE, I WILL CHOOSE NOT TO LET U GO" , " IF THERE IS REBORN, I WILL STILL CHOOSE U".

2010-01-30T22:49:00.001+08:00

A Speechless Day

there are thousand words in my heart, but i just can't said it out.

2010-01-28T23:58:00.002+08:00

fuck up day...

today never go school cause house doing new aircone.. after it's done, must do cleaning and etc cause im going to have the other room too... but whatever i do my dad just not happy with it. aiya dont konw how to said la.. pissed off!

today lunch went to find lynn, eunice, elric and the new telemarketer. mandy姐 never eat with me again.. sad.. went back office to get the staff for the children home.

tomorrow they going genting liao.. saded.. i cannot go.. i want to leave this place!!!! i hate this place!! how i wish i can have a accident and lost all my memory. sorry to all my friend.. i really wish i can lost all my memory. sorry im being selfish.

2010-01-27T23:04:00.002+08:00

... so fast , we have leave each other for 1 month plus already.
but yet i have so much thing to tell her. but she is no longer by my side.
i cannot deny that i dont miss her because i can said that is i still love her deep inside my heart.. deep deep inside. a love that have to be buried deep down my heart.

what is love?
love is sweet?
love is taking care of someone who u dont wish to see them get hurt?
love is everything in someone life?
love is giving in everything, as much as possible?
love is be by the other party said when he or she need u?
love is being selfish?
love is able to die for someone u love?
love is being jealous ?
love is pain?
love is part of live, without love, there is a chapter missing in life.
but with love there a pain in life?
y must life have love?

if can, i will with to open a new chapter.
but im scare to get hurt.
i maybe strong, but at times, im have weakness too.
sometime i just wish that that chapter had never close.
but the true is, it had came to an end.
but as and when, when im at places that we went before, memory of that chapter will just come back. memory that belong to us. memory that only can be the pass. i lost my breath and my heart will just bleed when those memory flash trough my brain.
guess this will be a deep scare that will never heal.

2010-01-25T22:57:00.001+08:00

having a super bad day!!!

2010-01-24T22:32:00.003+08:00

ar!!! work is tired!!

ok.. i have been not sleeping this few days ... cannot said never sleep la .. is sleep at 5 am in the morning cause was edited to the show 海派甜心. haha!!

yesterday night went to watch movie with mandy, jason, ben, and lynn.. got frighten by mandy and lynn cause i was sitting between them..lol.. after movie with to eat some thing at bedok .. reach home around 3+ but end up watch 海派甜心 till 5 again.. went to work at 9 .. super tired.. and super sick.. having flu and cough =(

o.. ya !! that day i bought a new I-touch !! yea!! i also dont know i but for what.. haha.. but is nice!!
o.. ya there have been this person call anonymous visiting my blog.. maybe i know who u r but i cannot confirm .. but if is really u, can u stop using anonymous, y r u afraid to put your name? stop being a coward. And u have no right to ask me what to do anymore cause u have already choose the other guy to live with. my life and death is no longer your consent.

2010-01-19T23:28:00.002+08:00

ok.. back from work again..
tired!!!

hey people im sorry.. i know alot of u are saying that i have change .. but i just can't help it.. i just can't find back how i use to be?

i dont know what am i living for now.
my life now is nothing.
if the next moment is doom day,
i won't feel anything.
everyday people see me like happily see gal, say joke like nobody business.
but no one know how i felt inside me.
this is not the life i want.

LIFE !! WHAT IS LIFE ?
WHY AM I LIVING ON THIS EARTH?
WHY ? WHAT AM I?

2010-01-17T22:38:00.001+08:00

Tired!!! have been working for this 2 days.. tired...
just now after work, went to airport to fetch lynn and eunice =) today they are back!!..
miss them so much haha..

tomorrow got school again.. after school still have to go work .. TIRED =(

2010-01-15T23:55:00.001+08:00

yoyoyo.. just reach home.. went to drink with friend again at the same place.. but this time drink lesser but somehow the feeling is like im drinking more this time.. maybe because of some reason.. this i was kind of drunk this time.. but funny thing is i drink lesser then other time.. this time i really feel i cannot take it anymore.. super tired.. going to sleep liao .. tomorrow still got work.. sian..

2010-01-14T21:31:00.002+08:00

haiz.. tired day..
dont know why how much i sleep, still not enough ..
im really tired!!! soso tired!
for this hole week i feel so weak feel so sick =(
where is my life when to ?

2010-01-12T16:27:00.002+08:00

yoyo.. just came back from school.. feeling super tired! i have not been feeling well this few days .. i may seem im alright but inside me is not.. starting from Sunday i have been feeling like this .. hope i will be fine?.. super tired.. haiz.. think i now go take a nap later will be better.. hope will not fall sick .. cause i till have to work on this weekend..

2010-01-10T23:02:00.002+08:00

1 more hour to 12.
after that i will start a new again.
good bye memory!

2010-01-10T17:12:00.002+08:00

today wake up at 530, leave home at 6 to yishun.. this will be my last time sending her to her live saving. cause i wanted to pass her something.. or maybe is i just want to see once more. but i can promise that this will be the last time im doing this.. after today everything will be gone.. i will get back my life again .. this will be my promise to everyone who i had said to them personally, expecially to mandy 姐. over here i want to apologise to her " mandy 姐 im really sorry i make u angry just now, plz accept my apology".

2010-01-10T00:24:00.002+08:00

just now went to have a early dinner with mandy 姐 and anna ..
now hungry liao !!! ar!! ..

just now on my way home..
i was waiting for bus at the bus stop..
i look up in to the sky..
i saw stars..
it makes me remember the time where we look up in the sky to find stars.
and the time when we sit at east cost park at night and see stars
the feeling is so nice but now?
i can only feel im all alone, all alone enjoying the stars.
y will us turn out to be like that?
where has all the moment went to?
if u see this, i believe u will know what im talking about.
remember that time i had told u, how i wish the time can just stop here.
the time when only u and me, sitting at the bench looking at the sunset,
after sunset, enjoy the stars and the sea breeze.
i just miss the moment we have together.
a moment belong to us, a moment u are by my side, it's a moment i will never forget.

2010-01-09T15:16:00.002+08:00

hey guys thanks for accompany me last night.. i know this is the first time u all see me drink so much .. i was also shock to see the amount i drunk .. haha..

2010-01-09T13:32:00.001+08:00

A woman came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find her 5-year old son waiting for

her at the door.

SON: 'Mummy, may I ask you a question?'

MUM: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the woman.

SON: 'Mummy, how much do you make an hour?'

MUM: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the woman said angrily.

SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'

MUM: 'If you must know, I make $20 an hour.'

SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: "Mummy, may I please borrow $5?"

The mother was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door..

The woman sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the woman had calmed down, and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $5 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The woman went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

'Are you asleep, son?' She asked.

'No Mummy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.

'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the woman. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $5 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you Mummy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The woman saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his mother.

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the mother grumbled.

'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.

'Mummy, I have $20 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The mother was crushed. She put her arms around her little son, and she begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through

our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $20 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

2010-01-07T23:36:00.001+08:00

2010-01-07T23:25:00.002+08:00

yo.. today a tired day.. lesson from 8am till 6pm.. tired!!
really in the morning saw sally at tampines interchange.. so went school with her..
after school went to tampines to meet airu cause she said want to go do shopping.. end up im the one do the most shopping .. bought 4 new shirt from FOX .. haha.. but i think is still not enought for new year cause i dont think i can wait till new year then wear the shirt.. haha.. so .. money money i need money!!!

2010-01-06T17:56:00.003+08:00

ok today can said is my first day going for my lesson .. haha.. is a boring day.. haiz.. lunch went out to eat.. now at home doing nothing.. life less.
what is life??!

2010-01-04T23:55:00.000+08:00

today reach school at 630 to help airu with the BL thing .. first time reach school so early haha!!

im missing my gal =(

2010-01-03T22:24:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday Mummy !! =)

today is mum birthday! she is one more year older already. haha!!

2010-01-02T21:58:00.003+08:00

u help me forget my past,
u make me feel in love,
u let me feel to have a family,
u let me feel to have kids with u,
u let me know the impotent of life,
u let me know what is care,
u let me know what is worried,
u bring me happiness,
u bring me joy,
and last u bring me sadness.

dear jin ting, thanks for all the thing u bring for me. Thanks for being by my side for this close to 6 months.
i think now is the time i let u know something, i have lie to u, i told u that i have money problem with my family, that is actually a lie. my family is still doing good. im sorry i lie to u but that is the only lie i told u when im with u. sorry.

2010-01-02T21:39:00.004+08:00

to jin ting :
i know u have remove me from facebook and msn so i have no way to tell u this,
i think i have found the bridge that u always looking for. hope u can see it =)
and hope ken is really the one for u, hope he can bring u joy and not tears.
i cannot said the sadness in my heart. but i know i have no choice but to live in this new year without u. all i can said is i still love u.
love eric

2010-01-02T21:37:00.002+08:00

just came back from fishing, went to new fishing sport hmm is a better place to fish but still got nothing.. no mood to fish. haiz boring day. sian school going to start liao.. sian sian ..

2010-01-01T21:57:00.002+08:00

just came home from aunt house. cause they got a new house, today is the house warming. have so much food just not haha.. so long never have a big family gathering liao =)

2010-01-01T04:44:00.002+08:00

yoyo.. just came back from count down.. haha.. what a boring count down..

after count down went to eat chicken rice with airu at amk. then my dearest sister Mandy call in a super sad voice.. so went out to have a drink with her.. now just reach home .. i dont dare to shower cause scare mum scold haha.. ok got to sleep soon =)

2009-12-30T19:16:00.001+08:00

sometimes u got to stop and remember that u are not gonna live forever. be young, thing smart, stay true and just follow your heart.

2009-12-30T19:06:00.002+08:00

Have you ever heard a song from so long ago with so many memories tied to it that it made u cry?
and didn't u wish that u could go back into the time when everything seemed so much simpler and carefree? those are songs that are the soundtrack of our lives.. the ones that bring back childhood memories, best friends, first love, first heartbreak.. the memories.

2009-12-30T17:57:00.002+08:00

yo.. just wake up not long ago.. last night went to jian sian 21th birthday chalet.. got sleep but they very noise so never sleep well.. have a few cup of beer last night end up this morning ear stuck cannot hear.. =( think is too heaty liao..

today kind of boring at home .. anyone want to eat dinner?

2009-12-27T11:45:00.002+08:00

today drive to fetch my mum of grandma house then headed to sis house to fetch her 2 children to the airport to play the .. a.. i also dont know that call what.. haha nvm i have a picture of that =)

2009-12-26T23:42:00.002+08:00

23 December 2009
o. ya forgotten to add this is my blog diary 23 December 2009 im single again =)

24 December 2009
xmas eve, went to amnet to celebrate with the hold company, after that went to tempines with wille, ben and lynn to find present for the night. afterthat, i went back to kovan to pick up the log cake. went home , took a bath and head to grish house and party =) went back at 3am got scolded haha..

25 December 2009
630 am headed to malaysia.

2009-12-26T22:24:00.002+08:00

yo. just came back from Malaysia fishing trip and last week just went KL with company.
ok people who have visit my blog, sorry i have not been updating but from now i will start to update again. =)

ok as i said, im just went back from a fishing trip, im super tired.. stay tune to my post =)

2009-11-17T22:50:00.000+08:00

yoyo nothing much today .. but tomorrow going on site again =( sad .. i want to stay in office!! haiz.. some more is at Chinatown super far la!!

2009-11-16T22:19:00.001+08:00

today tired day !! went to simdarby this morning but mandy came to fetch me back to office.. then went home after work .. tired tomorrow still have presentation .. sian =(

2009-11-15T23:54:00.002+08:00

yoyoyo!! im back !!

ok for the pass few night i have been drinking with friend till then late night.
first night, went to cluck quey with current class mate to celebrate DJ birthday in advance.

yesterday night went to watch 2012 with Mandy, Elric and partner. it was a very nice show!! after that we went to MCC to drink cause Elric's partner friend are celebrating his birthday over there.. so we went there to have some free drink haha!! end up the birthday boy wast drink lol.. and came and touch me!! ar!! i got molsted lol.. we went back at 3am + reach home 4am got scolded by mum =( sad haiz...

just now went out to have dinner with friend.. and went to have a coffee session headed home after that..

tomorrow have to go jurong and work again =( dame far!!