another speechless day.
if we are still together, in a few more hour time will be your 7th month.
but everything is gone.
she is gone from my life.
there is nothing i can do to bring everything back to the past.
whenever it came to the start of the month, my heart will just feel so pain.
it's so pain till i can't breath.
i really can't said the pain in me.
cause u r once the one i willing to give up everything, the one i wish to be with forever, the one that i will die for, the one that make me give up the hole universe.
i know i said all this is all shit.
cause it mean nothing to u anymore.
i believe later u two will be celebrating your first month.
it just make me remember how we celebrate ours.
my heart is so paint now!!
it's just like thousand kg of stone on my chest, it's so heavy till i can't breath.
there is still a lot of thing i want to said but i just can't say it out im really speechless.
i can't breath.
i can only said " NG JIN TING I REALLY WISH EVERYTHING CAN JUST GO BACK TO HOW IT'S USE TO BE " , " IF THERE IS A SECOND CHANCE, I WILL CHOOSE NOT TO LET U GO" , " IF THERE IS REBORN, I WILL STILL CHOOSE U".
A Speechless Day
there are thousand words in my heart, but i just can't said it out.
fuck up day...
today never go school cause house doing new aircone.. after it's done, must do cleaning and etc cause im going to have the other room too... but whatever i do my dad just not happy with it. aiya dont konw how to said la.. pissed off!
today lunch went to find lynn, eunice, elric and the new telemarketer. mandy姐 never eat with me again.. sad.. went back office to get the staff for the children home.
tomorrow they going genting liao.. saded.. i cannot go.. i want to leave this place!!!! i hate this place!! how i wish i can have a accident and lost all my memory. sorry to all my friend.. i really wish i can lost all my memory. sorry im being selfish.
... so fast , we have leave each other for 1 month plus already.
but yet i have so much thing to tell her. but she is no longer by my side.
i cannot deny that i dont miss her because i can said that is i still love her deep inside my heart.. deep deep inside. a love that have to be buried deep down my heart.
what is love?
love is sweet?
love is taking care of someone who u dont wish to see them get hurt?
love is everything in someone life?
love is giving in everything, as much as possible?
love is be by the other party said when he or she need u?
love is being selfish?
love is able to die for someone u love?
love is being jealous ?
love is pain?
love is part of live, without love, there is a chapter missing in life.
but with love there a pain in life?
y must life have love?
if can, i will with to open a new chapter.
but im scare to get hurt.
i maybe strong, but at times, im have weakness too.
sometime i just wish that that chapter had never close.
but the true is, it had came to an end.
but as and when, when im at places that we went before, memory of that chapter will just come back. memory that belong to us. memory that only can be the pass. i lost my breath and my heart will just bleed when those memory flash trough my brain.
guess this will be a deep scare that will never heal.
having a super bad day!!!
ar!!! work is tired!!
ok.. i have been not sleeping this few days ... cannot said never sleep la .. is sleep at 5 am in the morning cause was edited to the show 海派甜心. haha!!
yesterday night went to watch movie with mandy, jason, ben, and lynn.. got frighten by mandy and lynn cause i was sitting between them..lol.. after movie with to eat some thing at bedok .. reach home around 3+ but end up watch 海派甜心 till 5 again.. went to work at 9 .. super tired.. and super sick.. having flu and cough =(
o.. ya !! that day i bought a new I-touch !! yea!! i also dont know i but for what.. haha.. but is nice!!
o.. ya there have been this person call anonymous visiting my blog.. maybe i know who u r but i cannot confirm .. but if is really u, can u stop using anonymous, y r u afraid to put your name? stop being a coward. And u have no right to ask me what to do anymore cause u have already choose the other guy to live with. my life and death is no longer your consent.
ok.. back from work again..
tired!!!
hey people im sorry.. i know alot of u are saying that i have change .. but i just can't help it.. i just can't find back how i use to be?
i dont know what am i living for now.
my life now is nothing.
if the next moment is doom day,
i won't feel anything.
everyday people see me like happily see gal, say joke like nobody business.
but no one know how i felt inside me.
this is not the life i want.
LIFE !! WHAT IS LIFE ?
WHY AM I LIVING ON THIS EARTH?
WHY ? WHAT AM I?
Tired!!! have been working for this 2 days.. tired...
just now after work, went to airport to fetch lynn and eunice =) today they are back!!..
miss them so much haha..
tomorrow got school again.. after school still have to go work .. TIRED =(
yoyoyo.. just reach home.. went to drink with friend again at the same place.. but this time drink lesser but somehow the feeling is like im drinking more this time.. maybe because of some reason.. this i was kind of drunk this time.. but funny thing is i drink lesser then other time.. this time i really feel i cannot take it anymore.. super tired.. going to sleep liao .. tomorrow still got work.. sian..
haiz.. tired day..
dont know why how much i sleep, still not enough ..
im really tired!!! soso tired!
for this hole week i feel so weak feel so sick =(
where is my life when to ?
yoyo.. just came back from school.. feeling super tired! i have not been feeling well this few days .. i may seem im alright but inside me is not.. starting from Sunday i have been feeling like this .. hope i will be fine?.. super tired.. haiz.. think i now go take a nap later will be better.. hope will not fall sick .. cause i till have to work on this weekend..
1 more hour to 12.
after that i will start a new again.
good bye memory!
today wake up at 530, leave home at 6 to yishun.. this will be my last time sending her to her live saving. cause i wanted to pass her something.. or maybe is i just want to see once more. but i can promise that this will be the last time im doing this.. after today everything will be gone.. i will get back my life again .. this will be my promise to everyone who i had said to them personally, expecially to mandy 姐. over here i want to apologise to her " mandy 姐 im really sorry i make u angry just now, plz accept my apology".
just now went to have a early dinner with mandy 姐 and anna ..
now hungry liao !!! ar!! ..
just now on my way home..
i was waiting for bus at the bus stop..
i look up in to the sky..
i saw stars..
it makes me remember the time where we look up in the sky to find stars.
and the time when we sit at east cost park at night and see stars
the feeling is so nice but now?
i can only feel im all alone, all alone enjoying the stars.
y will us turn out to be like that?
where has all the moment went to?
if u see this, i believe u will know what im talking about.
remember that time i had told u, how i wish the time can just stop here.
the time when only u and me, sitting at the bench looking at the sunset,
after sunset, enjoy the stars and the sea breeze.
i just miss the moment we have together.
a moment belong to us, a moment u are by my side, it's a moment i will never forget.
hey guys thanks for accompany me last night.. i know this is the first time u all see me drink so much .. i was also shock to see the amount i drunk .. haha.. 
A woman came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find her 5-year old son waiting for
her at the door.
SON: 'Mummy, may I ask you a question?'
MUM: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the woman.
SON: 'Mummy, how much do you make an hour?'
MUM: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the woman said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
MUM: 'If you must know, I make $20 an hour.'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: "Mummy, may I please borrow $5?"
The mother was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door..
The woman sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the woman had calmed down, and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $5 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The woman went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
'Are you asleep, son?' She asked.
'No Mummy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.
'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the woman. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $5 you asked for.'
The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you Mummy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The woman saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.
The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his mother.
'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the mother grumbled.
'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.
'Mummy, I have $20 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'
The mother was crushed. She put her arms around her little son, and she begged for his forgiveness.
It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through
our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $20 worth of your time with someone you love.
If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
yo.. today a tired day.. lesson from 8am till 6pm.. tired!!
really in the morning saw sally at tampines interchange.. so went school with her..
after school went to tampines to meet airu cause she said want to go do shopping.. end up im the one do the most shopping .. bought 4 new shirt from FOX .. haha.. but i think is still not enought for new year cause i dont think i can wait till new year then wear the shirt.. haha.. so .. money money i need money!!!
ok today can said is my first day going for my lesson .. haha.. is a boring day.. haiz.. lunch went out to eat.. now at home doing nothing.. life less.
what is life??!
today reach school at 630 to help airu with the BL thing .. first time reach school so early haha!!
im missing my gal =(
Happy Birthday Mummy !! =)
today is mum birthday! she is one more year older already. haha!!
u help me forget my past,
u make me feel in love,
u let me feel to have a family,
u let me feel to have kids with u,
u let me know the impotent of life,
u let me know what is care,
u let me know what is worried,
u bring me happiness,
u bring me joy,
and last u bring me sadness.
dear jin ting, thanks for all the thing u bring for me. Thanks for being by my side for this close to 6 months.
i think now is the time i let u know something, i have lie to u, i told u that i have money problem with my family, that is actually a lie. my family is still doing good. im sorry i lie to u but that is the only lie i told u when im with u. sorry.
to jin ting :
i know u have remove me from facebook and msn so i have no way to tell u this,
i think i have found the bridge that u always looking for. hope u can see it =)
and hope ken is really the one for u, hope he can bring u joy and not tears.
i cannot said the sadness in my heart. but i know i have no choice but to live in this new year without u. all i can said is i still love u.
love eric
just came back from fishing, went to new fishing sport hmm is a better place to fish but still got nothing.. no mood to fish. haiz boring day. sian school going to start liao.. sian sian ..
just came home from aunt house. cause they got a new house, today is the house warming. have so much food just not haha.. so long never have a big family gathering liao =)
yoyo.. just came back from count down.. haha.. what a boring count down..
after count down went to eat chicken rice with airu at amk. then my dearest sister Mandy call in a super sad voice.. so went out to have a drink with her.. now just reach home .. i dont dare to shower cause scare mum scold haha.. ok got to sleep soon =)