first day back to unit, duty =( what a day..
last night doing duty, i sit in a coner.. somehow i realize something.. is the last day of the month again. suddenly i wake up, i have been letting my self living in a world of nothing for such a long time, i have been running away from own true feeling for such along time. i have been bluffing to myself for a very long time. but isiz better from me to be like this forever?
tomorrow is the first of the month.. if u r seeing my blog think u should know what am i writing.. whenever i listing to this song "説好的幸福呢" i will think back to the past when we use to be together. till now i dont know y our relationship will become like this. we use to be a very lovely pair. i really dont know what break us apart. maybe all this are fate? but if u know me well enough, u should know i dont like fate to control me. i like to do thing my way. but this time i think i really lost to fate. fate make me hate u so deeply but at the same time make me miss u even more. if u will to ask me to say the true, whenever u ask me the question and i choose not to reply u is because i till love u. i choose to run away because i really dont know what should i do. i dont know who to keep u by my side forever, whenever we r close, u will always say something that make me feel insecure. u remember i did told u before, i only either choose to love a girl fully and trustfully if not i wont love anyone?
think u have found a new bf that can give u the love that i didn't give u? over here i can only hope that u will not get any hurt from anyone anymore. hope that he can give u all the love u need.
signing off with my heavy heart.
it has been awhile since i last fishing.. today when fishing.. sit on the side of the water letting the sea breeze slowly brush though my eyelash.. it make me thing back alot if thing.. at the same time relax myself...
i realize i have not been myself for a very long time.. i have been running away from everything for a very long time.. maybe it's time for me to really face everything..
at last my course have finish.. tomorrow RTU.. but first day rtu do duty.. sian... haiz..
Will time really heal everything? When a person is hurt deeply it will make the person scare to belive in anything .
Sitting alone looking at a happy family infront of me. Make me feel empty. Thinking y I can't live in a family like other? Full of joy full of happiness and joy. Some time take a smaller step let the time go slower u will see what u r missing out. But y isiz so hard to get? Is happiness and freedom so hard to get?
today is a sunday again.. later booking in.. it has been a while since i last posting.. in the last posting i just finish course.. now? in a course again.. there are too many thing happen this few weeks..
i have once again reach a point that i almost break down.. but this time round who can i talk to?
suddenly i found that everyone are the same.
i feel so single, all alone by myself.
god am i neglected?
y in my eyes i cant find someone that i can trust and believe in?
y i feel im so different from other?
im not myself anymore.
i cant feel my heart beat anymore.
i have lost myself.