Tonight is a lonely night .. I'm now laying on my massage chair blogging.. Just can't get into sleep.. My heart just keeping crying I can't stop thinking about the past,all the past memory just keep coming into my mind.. I really miss the past where everything is so normal and nice.. All my loves one are around me.. My heart are really aceing now, my tears just can't stop coming out from my eyes.
People have u try getting sometime looking at all the photo 10 years ago? And start to think how life is like 10 ago?? Get sometime looking back into the history u might get some tough from there. And they might leads u your path into the future.
today went to sister shop to work.. just reach home few hour ago..
today received a email from facebook about my family group.. so went to take a look..
and i notice that they had uploaded alot more photo.. so i browses thought and my tears start to drop. i use to have a very big family, but after grad-grandma pass away, this family had start to spread?? that's y they created this group just to keep us in contact.. but is the family still the same? i tears not just because of that.. is because im proud that i had such a big family. how i wish everyone can keep in contact. in the picture i also was alot of thing and alot of tough. is true that time passes and moment dont stay. i saw how is everyone look when they are young. till now, grandma, grandpa, uncles, unites, dad, mum, they now look old.. and the kids are all big now.. time really passes too fast till everyone dont realize it until u start to look back the past. the past is always so beautiful and at times, it will also make people tears.. im really speechless after looking all the picture.. i really speechless ;(
How I wish my time can pass faster like how it use to be.
Just came home just now went to my pri school friend chalet cause is her 21th birthday!! Its has been years when I last was her.. Haha.. Ok tomorrow still need to work got to sleep already. Night everyone. Sweet dreams my loves one.
I'm sorry.
Hmm just reach home not long ago.. Today went out with my classmate.. Went alot of place.. Hey guys thanks for being so understand just now, I know I this is the first time u all see me like this.. I nearly bust into tears.. Lucky have u all by my side.. Maybe just now too rush or what.. I'm having fever now ;( shell turn in now.. Good night.
wawawa.. it has been so long since i last post using school computer.. haha.. cause i dont like to login using school com.. the reason be it is because we use to install keylogger in school com.. therefor i dont trust the computer here.. haha!!
very fast going to leave the school already.. i will miss here =( maybe this will be the last time i use the school com to blog.. haha..
haiz.. im so tired.. tired of missing.. tired of love.. tired of everything.. jin, it has been 2 months, and after that day i spoke to u, i really did not go and find anything about u and him anymore.. but in my heart i will still wish to see u happy.
ps*:i may not be happy.. but what i want i very simple, i just wish to see the ones i love to be happy, no matter what.. i cannot give the ones that i love the happiness she wanted to have, so i can only hope he can treasure her and never let her down.
gal, i want to see u happy and not sad.
im so tired. tired till i dont know what to do.
Today 23, we break 2month already. Do u still remember me? This 2 month seem so long time passess so slowly. Shell not say much now I going out.. Shell continue later or tomorrow ba...
Arr having headae ... Going for a run now hope will be better... Tired ar!!! But don't know y just feel like jogging...
yoyo.. just came back from punggol park.. just now went to have a drink with wee teck beng beng and he sheng.. hmm guess this will be the second last time i will drink with friends like that.. but im not saying that i will not drink, but only in some big day and it will only be a bottle only. dont ask me y cause i wont said.
sometime once the chance is miss, it's very hard to get it back.
even is back, it will never be the same.
pain is what make us stronger.
back blogging.. someone must be thinking y im still able to blog?
cause i did not leave Singapore. Due to some reason, i did not leave.
i shell not state anything here for some reason.
lazy to said it all out shell let the photo do the talking..
haha!!
Hmm... Just now drive to bottle tree park to have dinner.. After that went yishun dam to slack .. Just now when driving back nearly fall asleep.. Haha.. Carpark full no choice have to park other side.. One side of my ear cannot hear again very xing ku ar!!
I'm not happy!! I don't like this family!! Agrr
Just came back from lunch. Went east coast to eat seafood haha went long house and the food is not as good as I thought but overall still ok la. Haha .. Now at home rot .. Sian..
Just reach home just now went out with friends,went serangoon garden to eat ice cream.. It has been so long sence I last eat ice cream.. Had I gread time with friends !!
Just now I order the banana spilt, I still can remember in the past, my dad use to bring us to eat that. Just now when I was eating that, the feeling is just like how it's like 8 years ago. After 8 years, in a different place, different people, a different banana spilt, but the memory will always be the same.
first of all happy new year to all.
tonight no bad room for me cause my grandma is here to stay, so my room let her sleep. tonight sleep in the study room with sleeping bag.. super long never use the sleeping bag liao..
today also valentine's day. in the past, every valentine's day, i will make myself super busy till i meet jinting, tough everything will be alright. but in the end, she leave me, leave me all alone now. maybe people will said im stupid, what for i do so much for her and so on.? today i just want to make thing clear, all i did is because i love her too much.
雪,
我以为我早已忘记你,
但因为昨天她的一些字
把我的记忆叫醒.
我听从你的,
我没有放弃爱情
但是我受伤了.
it has been so long since the last time i felt so lonely during valentine's day.
in the past i still have snowy but snowy had past-away last year. snowy is just like a baby that u left to accompany me. when she past-away, i thought jinting will be able to replace u in my heart and she really did. i fall in love with her so deeply. but she already leave me. im just like being dump in to hell once it for all.
i promise u that no matter what, i will still live and treasure myself and so till now im still standing. the only thing that is missing is u.
永远在你心里
林宏达 上
Just came back from yishun dam. This afternoon went to meet her to pass her something. Have some talk with her etc .. Then sent her home and went to vivo alone till 5 plus.. Tired now .. First time I vey long never feel so tired before liao.
today test totally cannot do. my worst test ever.
saw che today.. she was on her way up the escalator when i was going down. she smile at me and i dont know who was that.. haha !! so end up she shouted her name, then i remember.. haha.. but when i went back to find her, she's gone.. so end up calling her..
just now went for a run with airu cause she was not feel alright in her heart. first time went for run so late but it's very nice the feeling.. think will continue running in the night. we run from her house to punggol park run the park a round and back to her house.. reached her house lucky have loop bus service if not i have to walk home..
later im having test but till now i have not even touch anything RE the test. i really dont know what to do. my life is lifeless without u.
this is my number 300 post.
but there is nothing i can write.
i can only said is fate that played us.
when i really needed u by my side, you are already gone.
all these precious moments
with you by my side
must be a gift from heaven
that 's holding me all night
i don 't know how i found you
i 'm thankful that i have
now that i have a love so true
to hold ,
to keep ,
to share
in my heart ,
i can no longer hold inside
all of the love i used to hide
i 'll always be
with you untill the very end
in this world ,
there is no place i 'd rather be
you are my life ,
my soul ,
my girl
and through it all
i know
that you 've come to see
thatyou 're the one
till the end
all my friend around me
say you 'd be gone too soon
baby ,
i 'm gonna make them see
we 've found our way
back home
in my heart ,
i can no longer
hold inside
all of the love
i used to hide
i 'll always be
with you untill the very end
in this world ,
there is no place
i 'd rather be
you are my life ,
my soul ,
my girl
and through
it all
i know that
you 've come to see that
you 're the one
till the end
we 'll always be
till the end
somehow.. i saw some photo u all took.
hmm.. maybe im just not the one for u.
one think i dont understand is y do u make me fall in love with u ?
i was the photo u two took, i can see that is not the kind of family i always wanted to have, and i believe all along u know that.
jinting i finally understand what u want.
but y u never told me what u want all along?
i think is really time to let u go.
i think is i really hope ken can really love u more then i did.
hmm.. i think i still own u one explanation. later i will give u a call to explanation.
i know after all this whenever i see thing that make me think of u i will still tears in my heart,
but i know i just have to keep all this to myself.
sorry i can't give u what u want, when i know and willing to give u what u want is all too late.
the only think i can said now is im really sorry.
good bye my lover.
hmm.. just now got my hand cut =(
i was doing something so have but plaster, while putting the plaster, it make me remind of her. the time before we are together, over at my family chalet, i cut my hand and she put the plaster for me, that was actually my first time having a gal putting on a plaster on my hand.
haiz fan fan fan!
dont know y i just dont feel like doing anything, no matter how much i sleep just not enough. later still have to go back school at 2pm for meeting follow by 440pm IAP presentation. some how the presentation make me think back all the past, the time when i was in amnet, the time we are together. i can only said that, that moment is hard but at that same time that moment is sweet.
seriously u have really accompany through too many thing in my life, all the joy, happiness, sadness and downtime. but i know it's really the time to let u go. the only regrade is i will not be able to share all this moment together anymore.
the moment,
we sit together at the beach, watching sun site,
we cook together,
we eat together,
we jog from east coast to changi together,
we packet dinner to the see side and eat together,
we go pula ubin together,
we wait for each other after work,
we go buy sushi after 930pm,
we eat sushi together with wasabe,
we get a chalet just to watch sunrise,
we go fishing together,
we go take photo together,
we go flyer together,
we walk the park together,
and there are too many together to be said..
thank you for spending all my very first moment with me.
i cannot deny that all this while whenever i think of you, my tears will still drop, i know is very shameful for a guy to wright this kind of thing in the blog. but i just want u to know that i really did treasure all this moment we spent together. plz stop saying that i did not treasure u. cause it really hurt me.
im really scare later the presentation i can't control my tears.
all the while i have trying so hard not to cry in fount of anyone but i really scare that i will cry this time.
I WILL NEVER FORGET THE PAIN U GIVE IT TO ME!
u ask me to move on?
u think i dont wish to move on?
im trying so hard to move on.
but my love to u has grown so deep into my heart.
i really dont understand how can u fall in love to the other guy so quickly?
u can do it but i can't.
I HATE MY FAMILY!!
I HATE MY LIFE!
HOW I WISH I CAN JUST WENT TO SLEEP AND NEVER WAKE UP!
last time u came into my life, i tough my life can be better. cause i have u in my life.
i tough u and i can have a family of our own, a family that i wanted to have.
but now? u have leave me all alone, all alone to face my family.
i can only said, this time im really tired.
i have really break down.
i take thing for granted? dont tell me u never take my love for granted. i dont treasure u? did u treasure me? think back on how u treat me before i ask for breakup? have u think and feel how i feel? how much pain i have when i ask u about ken?
u said i dont love u for who u r ? did u love me for who im? all i did is because i just can't bear to see my love one get hurt. im selfish, cause i just dont want to see u in any hurt or pain. i just can't bare. i rather u hate me forever and i dont want to see u get hurt.
i dont love u for who u r? u try telling all the true of your past to ken. see how he accept who u for who u r? the true of all, all the thing u done.
watch this video watch till the end!